Clay tablet casts new light on origins of Genesis

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/d5/Letter_Luenna_Louvre_AO4238.jpgArchaeologists are puzzled by the significance of a cuneiform tablet dating to around 1400 BCE, recently discovered during excavations in Sumeria. A tentative translation, still controversial, is as follows:

“From Moses, General Secretary of the Brickmakers Union, Land of Goshen, greetings.

Moses Michaelangelo September 2015-1.jpg

Moses, contemporary scupture, holding what is thought to be this tablet

From my measurements of the sedimentology of the Nile Delta, I estimate that the river has been depositing sediment there for many tens of thousands of years. Concerning the origin of mankind, I am now convinced that we, the jabbering creatures of West Africa, and the knuckle-walking giants who live beyond Numidia are different species of the same family.

However, You-Know-Who has told me to come up with a simplified version of the story, which my members will be more capable of understanding.

Nile Delta in ancient times (Wikipedia)

I wonder if there is anything suitable among your own traditional mythologies. In particular, since the Internet has not yet been invented, can you send me by camel post a preprint of Enuma Elish. And if possible, an advance copy of your pending publication, The Flood of Gilgamesh.

We have failed to find any rabbits in the Precambrian. How does this compare with your own records?”

Image result for ken ham image

Ken Ham: “Whose word would you rather trust?”

The tablet, known as the April Fuerst tablet after its discoverer, Professor April Fuerst of Bullenscheiss University’s Department of Apocryphal Studies, has already attracted widespread controversy. Scholars at the Institute of Creationist Research are puzzled as to the meaning of the terms “sedimentology”, “creatures of West Africa”, “knuckle-walking giants”, “species”, and “Precambrian”.

Mike Pence: “Can we also consider teaching other theories?”

Greta Christina, who has featured on this blog before, objects to Moses’ use of the sexist term “mankind”. Ken Ham, of Answers in Genesis, commented: “We need to examine this tablet from the standpoint of the Bible. Whose word would you rather trust, Moses’ word or Ken Ham’s word?” Jay W. Richards, of the Discovery Institute and the Wall Street Journal, points to Moses’ trade union activity as a reason for suspicion, while VP Mike Pence, whose rhetorical skills should not be underestimated, comments “The truth is that sedimentology was always a theory. Can we teach it as such and can we also consider teaching other theories of the origin of the Nile Delta?”

There are other problems with the proposed translation. Karen Armstrong asserts that camels were unknown in the area until around 600 BCE. Controversy persists over the identity, and even the existence, of You-Know-Who. And the biologist JBS Haldane, who had claimed the credit for the discovery that there were no rabbits in the Precambrian, could not be reached for comment.

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could not be reached for comment

President Trump has yet to tweet on the subject.

About Paul Braterman

Science writer, former chemistry professor; committee member British Centre for Science Education; board member and science adviser Scottish Secular Society; former member editorial board, Origins of Life, and associate, NASA Astrobiology Insitute; first popsci book, From Stars to Stalagmites 2012

Posted on April 1, 2017, in History of Science, Religion and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 5 Comments.

  1. Reblogged this on Peddling and Scaling God and Darwin and commented:
    At long last the mysteries of Genesis One have been solved. I wish I had found this years ago . A superb piece of scholarship

    Like

  2. Not sure but I think Haldane might still be dead. Still, that is no excuse for not getting back to you.

    Like

  3. Paul Bruggink

    The first April Fool’s blog of 2017, and it’s only 8:15 PM on March 31st here in Pennsylvania. Nicely done, BTW.

    Like

  4. Reblogged this on Thrift flowers and commented:
    Well who’d have thunk it?

    Like

  5. President Trump has yet to tweet on the subject.

    Probably too busy axing the federal sedimentology budget.

    Like

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