Clay tablet casts new light on origins of Genesis
Archaeologists are puzzled by the significance of a cuneiform tablet dating to around 1400 BCE, recently discovered during excavations in Sumeria. A tentative translation, still controversial, is as follows:
“From Moses, General Secretary of the Brickmakers Union, Land of Goshen, greetings.
From my measurements of the sedimentology of the Nile Delta, I estimate that the river has been depositing sediment there for many tens of thousands of years. Concerning the origin of mankind, I am now convinced that we, the jabbering creatures of West Africa, and the knuckle-walking giants who live beyond Numidia are different species of the same family.
However, You-Know-Who has told me to come up with a simplified version of the story, which my members will be more capable of understanding.
I wonder if there is anything suitable among your own traditional mythologies. In particular, since the Internet has not yet been invented, can you send me by camel post a preprint of Enuma Elish. And if possible, an advance copy of your pending publication, The Flood of Gilgamesh.
We have failed to find any rabbits in the Precambrian. How does this compare with your own records?”
The tablet, known as the April Fuerst tablet after its discoverer, Professor April Fuerst of Bullenscheiss University’s Department of Apocryphal Studies, has already attracted widespread controversy. Scholars at the Institute of Creationist Research are puzzled as to the meaning of the terms “sedimentology”, “creatures of West Africa”, “knuckle-walking giants”, “species”, and “Precambrian”.
Greta Christina, who has featured on this blog before, objects to Moses’ use of the sexist term “mankind”. Ken Ham, of Answers in Genesis, commented: “We need to examine this tablet from the standpoint of the Bible. Whose word would you rather trust, Moses’ word or Ken Ham’s word?” Jay W. Richards, of the Discovery Institute and the Wall Street Journal, points to Moses’ trade union activity as a reason for suspicion, while VP Mike Pence, whose rhetorical skills should not be underestimated, comments “The truth is that sedimentology was always a theory. Can we teach it as such and can we also consider teaching other theories of the origin of the Nile Delta?”
There are other problems with the proposed translation. Karen Armstrong asserts that camels were unknown in the area until around 600 BCE. Controversy persists over the identity, and even the existence, of You-Know-Who. And the biologist JBS Haldane, who had claimed the credit for the discovery that there were no rabbits in the Precambrian, could not be reached for comment.
President Trump has yet to tweet on the subject.